The Big Question: Why are we here ?

The man behind the mission

by NISSARA HORAYANGURA, Bangkok Post, Oct 29, 2006

Bangkok, Thailand -- Who's reading Ajahn Brahm's book? A very mixed
crowd - Germans, Chinese, Thais, any number of people literate in the
eight languages into which his book has been translated. Executives,
students, psychologists, even Christian chaplains.

"Last month, a
Catholic priest in Adelaide phoned me especially to thank me for the
book because he uses it in his chaplaincy work," Ajahn Brahm says,
sounding both delighted and a bit amazed. "When you get praise from
Christians, you think, wow, this book is actually making those bridges
between different religions."

With his knack for presenting Buddhist teachings without being too
"Buddhisty" - conveying their wisdom in universally relevant ways - he
makes a skilful bridge-builder (if an imperfect bricklayer).

Whether travelling around the world giving talks or based at his
monastery in Australia, where only two per cent of the population is
Buddhist, Ajahn Brahm is actively involved in interfaith dialogue,
although he would rather not use the term "dialogue".

"It's friendship, actually," he says.

He tells of a particularly close friendship he has with the Catholic
abbot of a Benedictine monastery just north of Perth. Both being
entertaining speakers, they regularly do public talks together as "The
Two Abbots", a sort of two-man spiritual-comedy act.

The concept is catchy, but also inspiring. "People see a Buddhist abbot
and a Catholic abbot sitting together, talking about similar things, and
being obviously friends. And they love it."

The two abbots' close friendship also makes it possible to have that
"interfaith dialogue" more effectively. Ajahn Brahm observes that at
many interfaith gatherings, one has to "tread on eggshells" out of fear
of causing offence.

"But our friendship has gone way beyond that now. We know each other
well enough that we're not afraid to disagree. He can say whatever he
likes. He's my friend and I refuse to be offended.

"He can say, 'I don't believe in reincarnation!' And I can say, 'I don't
believe in God!' And we both win, because we know exactly what we mean,"
he says with a laugh.

Debates about God's existence aside, another sticking point some
Buddhists - particularly orthodox Theravadans - may have in truly
respecting other religions is their belief that the only way to achieve
ultimate liberation is through the practice of insight meditation, which
is not found in other religions.

When this point is raised, Ajahm Brahm immediately responds, "That's
called conceit."

He then goes on to quote an inarguable authority - the Lord Buddha.
"Once the Buddha was asked that question - 'Can you become enlightened
in other traditions?' And he gave this beautiful answer: 'Wherever
there's an eightfold path, wherever you practise a bit of meditation,
some virtue, some wisdom, there you'll find people becoming
enlightened."'

Still, that watch-word "meditation" was mentioned, was it not? Yes, but
Ajahn Brahm is keen to demystify "meditation". Many times in his talks,
he emphasizes that there is nothing magical or esoteric about it.
Meditation is simply stilling the mind. "It's a fundamental freedom of
all human beings." He likens it to getting out of a speeding car and
walking. When you're riding in the car, you can only see the world
whizzing by through the window, the details blurred. Once you slow down,
once you still the mind, you can see more clearly.

Buddhism has no monopoly on meditation. He points out that meditation is
so popular nowadays that there are meditation groups in Christian and
other faiths, so non-Buddhists can practise it within a tradition
they're comfortable with.

Nor does Buddhism, or any religion, have a monopoly on truth.

"Now, you can actually bottle water and sell it. But you can't bottle
truth and sell it. Religions try to do that. [They say] 'We're the only
ones who've got the truth. So we've got the franchise, and no one else
can sell it."'

Just as water is the same, no matter what bottle it's in (and no matter
what those clever marketers say), so truth is the same, no matter what
religious container it's in - love, peace, harmony, forgiveness,
freedom.

Making that distinction between the containers and the contents is the
key to avoiding inter-religious strife, he says. So much conflict is
instigated when others attack one's own containers - the symbols, texts,
icons of one's religion. But one need not get upset if one can remember
that they are just symbols, and focus on maintaining the contents, the
teachings.

"When the Taliban destroyed the Bamyan Buddha statues, Buddhists did not
allow themselves to seek revenge, because that would, in fact, mean the
Taliban had succeeded not only in destroying the containers, but also
the contents."

Similarly, he says, "A Muslim might say, 'I don't like those cartoons
[referring to the controversy over offensive caricatures drawn of the
Prophet Muhammad], but it's more important that we're friends.
Forgiven.' Wouldn't it be wonderful if that happened?"

Following an incident where US soldiers allegedly flushed a copy of the
Koran down a toilet, Ajahn Brahm was asked what he would do if someone
flushed a Buddhist holy book down a toilet.

"Call a plumber."

Enlightment

"Once the Buddha was asked that question - 'Can you become enlightened
in other traditions?' And he gave this beautiful answer: 'Wherever
there's an eightfold path, wherever you practise a bit of meditation,
some virtue, some wisdom, there you'll find people becoming
enlightened."'

Grant yourself a moment of peace,
and you will understand
how foolishly you have scurried about.

Learn to be silent,
and you will notice that
you have talked too much.

Be kind,
and you will realise that
your judgement of others was too severe.

= Ancient Chinese Proverb =

Marriage

Since I became a celibate monk, I have married many women.
Part of my job as a Buddhist monk is to perform the religious part of Buddhist marriage ceremonies. According to my tradition of Buddhism, a lay Buddhist is the official marriage celebrant, but many of the couples regard me as the one who married them. So I have married many women and many men as well.
It is said that there are three rings to a marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffer-ring !
So trouble is to be expected. When there is trouble, the people I have married often come to talk to me. Being a monk who likes an easy life, I include in my marriage service the next three stories, intended to keep the three of us out of trouble for as long as possible.

=Opening The Door of Your Heart=
by Ajahn Brahm

ps: one of the stories is the "Commitment" story i post before this.

Commitment

My view of relationships and marriage is this: when the couple are going out, they are merely involved; when they become engaged, they are still involved, maybe more deeply; when they publicly exchange marriage vows, that is commitment.

The meaning of marriage ceremony is the commitment. During a ceremony, to drive home the meaning in a way peoply usually remember for the rest of their lives, I explain that the difference between involvement and commitment is the same as the difference between bacon and eggs.

At this point, the in-laws and friends start to pay attention. They begin to wonder, 'What has bacon and eggs got to do with marriage ?' I continue.

'With bacon and eggs, the chicken is only involved, but the pig is committed. Let this be a pig marriage.'

=Opening The Door of Your Heart=
by Ajahn Brahm

Everyday is Special Day

Tiap Hari Adalah Istimewa
By Ann Wells (Los Angeles Times)

Kakak iparku membuka laci lemari pakaian kakakku yang paling bawah, lalu mengambil sesuatu terbungkus tissue putih dan mengulurkannya kepadaku sambil berkata: "Ini pakaian dalam yang sangat spesial."

Kubuka bungkusan itu, dan kutemukan sebuah pakaian dalam yang sangat menawan, lembut, terbuat dari sutera, disulam tangan, dengan tali sangat lembut. Tag harga masih tertempel, dengan kode-kode penjualannya yang rumit.

"Jane membelinya 8 atau 9 tahun yang lalu, dan belum pernah memakainya.Katanya ia ingin memakainya untuk suatu kesempatan yang sangat istimewa.Yah, rasanya inilah hari yang istimewa itu," kata kakak iparku lemah.

Ia mengambil pakaian dalam itu dari tanganku, dan meletakkannya di tas tempat tidur, bersama dengan pakaian lainnya yang kami persiapkan untuk dibawa ke rumah duka.
Ia memegang pakaian dalam itu sejenak, dan dengan tiba-tiba ia menutup laci tersebut keras-keras sambil berkata keras padaku: "Jangan pernah menyimpan sesuatu yang istimewa untuk kesempatan istimewa. Hidupmu tiap hari adalah istimewa."

Aku terus ingat kata-kata tersebut sepanjang upacara pemakaman dan
hari-hari sesudahnya. Saya membantu dia dan keponakan-keponakan saya untuk melewati hari-hari berkabung setelah kematian kakakku yang mendadak. Aku juga terus memikirkan mereka sepanjang penerbanganku kembali ke California dari kota Midwestern di mana kakakku tinggal. Aku juga memikirkan hal-hal yang belum sempat didengar, dilihat atau dikerjakan oleh almarhum kakakku.

Aku juga memikirkan hal-hal yang sudah ia kerjakan tanpa menyadari Bahwa hal-hal tersebut sungguh sangat spesial. Aku terus memikirkan kata-kata kakak iparku, dan sepertinya kata-kata yang ia ucapkan saat hatinya penuh duka tersebut telah mengubah hidupku. Mendadak sepertinya aku telah membaca sedemikian banyak buku tetang kehidupan.
Aku lalu memandang ke luar jendela dan menikmati pemandangan udara yang indah, tanpa pusing lagi memikirkan bagaimana kebun kesayanganku yang telah kutinggal pergi beberapa hari.

Sesampai di rumahku sendiri,aku lalu menyempatkan diri untuk lebih Banyak berkumpul dengan keluargaku dan teman-temanku, dan langsung mengurangi kegiatan rapat-rapatku. Apabila diperlukan, hidup ini semestinya dipenuhi pola-pola untuk pengalaman tentang kenikmatan, dan bukan pertahanan serta beban. Sekarang saya mencoba untuk memperhitungkan waktu dengan lebih teliti dan mensyukurinya.

Aku tidak "menyimpan" sesuatu. Kami bahkan menggunakan chinawares
(piring-piring buatan cina) dan koleksi kristal kami setiap hari, tanpa
menunggu ada pesta, ada tamu atau lainnya. Ketika kami kehilangan uang, ketika kran air bocor, ketika bunga camelia kami mekar, adalah saat-saat yang kami istimewakan.

Saya pergi ke pasar memakai pakaian yang indah, jika memang sedang ingin. Semua kami lakukan tanpa rasa sayang yang berlebihan terhadap barang-barang tersebut. Teorinya, kalau saya kelihatan lebih berada daripada orang-orang di sekitarku, saya juga akan menjadi tidak pelit terhadap diriku sendiri.

Saya tidak hanya memakai parfum kalau pergi ke pesta.

Pelayan di toko bangunan, tukang sayur di pasar, teller di bank, dan
teman-temanku di pesta, memiliki hidung yang berfungsi sama. Kata-kata "suatu hari kelak" ataupun "hari-hari ini", mempunyai makna yang sama bagi saya. Jika ada hal-hal yang layak didengar, ditonton, dibaca atau dikerjakan, saya akan berusaha mendengar, menonton, membaca atau mengerjakannya sekarang juga.

Saya tidak tahu apa kira-kira yang akan almarhum kakakku apabila ia tahu bahwa keesokan harinya ("besok" adalah kata-kata yang tidak pernah kita bayangkan akan tidak terjadi) ia sudah tidak akan ada lagi di dunia ini. Mungkin ia akan menelpon seluruh keluarganya dan beberapa teman dekatnya, mungkin ia akan menelpon teman-teman lamanya dan meminta maaf akan kesalahan-kesalahan yang ia lakukan di masa lalu. Saya bahkan juga membayangkan bahwa ia justru akan pergi ke sebuah restoran cina yang sangat ia sukai.

Tapi semua itu hanya perkiraanku saja. Kita tidak pernah tahu.

Hal-hal tersebut pasti akan membuat aku marah bila belum dapat saya lakukan padahal saya tidak memiliki waktu lagi. Marah karena selama ini saya selalu menunda pertemuan-pertemuan dengan teman-teman baik saya, meskipun Saya sangat ingin berjumpa dengan mereka.

Marah, karena selama ini saya jarang membalas surat-surat yang saya terima. Marah dan menyesal karena selama ini saya jarang sekali mengatakan pada isteri dan anak-anakku, betapa Saya menyayangi mereka. Kini saya selalu mengusahakan untuk tidak menunda atau menahan hal-hal yang sekiranya akan menambah keceriaan, kesulitan atau kesedihan dalam hidup ini. membuat saya tertawa.

Dan setiap pagi, begitu saya membuka mata, saya katakan pada diri saya sendiri, bahwa hari itu adalah hari yang spesial. Setiap hari, setiap menit, setiap nafas, adalah benar-benar anugerah yang indah dari Tuhan.

Jika anda menerima mail ini, pasti karena ada orang yang peduli dan Sayang kepada anda. Jika anda selama ini terlalu sibuk, cobalah berhenti sejenak.

Sempatkan beberapa menit saja memikirkan orang-orang yang dekat di hati anda, teman-teman yang telah memberikan warna pada hidup anda, guru, pembimbing, siapapun. Kalau perlu, forward email ini kepada mereka, just to show that you care.

"Good friends must always hold hands, but true friends do not need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there."

Paradox of Our Age

We have bigger houses but smaller families;
more conveniences, but less time;
We have more degrees, but less sense;
more knowledge, but less judgement;
more experts, but more problems;
more medicines, but less healthiness;
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbour.
We built more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication;
We have become long on quantity, but short on quality.
These are times of fast foods but slow digestion;
Tall man but short character;
Steep profits but shallow relationships.
It's a time when there is much in the window,
but nothing in the room.

- His Holiness Dalai Lama

How can we be happy ?

When the Buddha spoke to people who were interested in happiness— which some people are — they said, “How can we be happy?” He said, “Well, one way is to understand the law of karma. If you cultivate generosity, kindness, awareness and giving. you will be happy because you’ll learn that it’s pleasant, and also the way that karma works is that your world will become more of a cycling rather than fear and holding.You will discover happiness in this generosity.” He said, “If you’re kind to people, if you maintain a basic level of non-harming — what’s called Virtue — if your words are honest andhelpful, if your actions are truthful and helpful and based on kindness,your world will start to become kind. Inside you’ll feel kinder and happier; outside people will treat you that way. The law of Karma is one of the first things you observe if you practice mindfulness and awareness.This is one thing you can discover through practice.

Siddharta Gotama

Belief

There’s a story of a pious man who very much believed in God.
One day, at the place where he dwelled, it started to rain heavily and it
rained and rained, and a big flood came. He went from the first floor to
the second floor of his house and the water rose until he was on the roof.
Someone rowed by and said, “Get in, my friend, I’ll save you; the water
is rising.” He said, “No, I believe in God; I really have faith; I believe.”
So he sent the rowboat away.

It rained more and the water got all the
way up to his neck. Another rowboat came by, picking up people. “Get
in, my friend, I’ll save you.” “No, thank you. I have trust. I have lived
my whole life. I believe in God; no need.” The rowboat went away. It
got up to his nose so he could just barely breathe. And a helicopter came
over and lowered down a rope.“Come up,myfriend, I’ll save you.” “No,
thank you. I believe, I have faith, I trust.” So the helicopter went away.

It rained some more and he drowned. He goes to heaven after that.
Soon after that he gets an interview with God. So he goes in, and he sits
down and pays his respects, and then he says, “You know, I just don’t
understand. Here I was your faithful servant. I was so trusting, and
prayed, and so believing, and I just don’t understand what happened to
me.” And he recounts all of his circumstances. “Where were you when
I needed you?”

God looks up and kind of scratches his head and says,
“I don’t understand it either. I sent you two rowboats and a helicopter.”

INGAT PERATURAN NO. 5

Suatu hari Sang Guru sedang rapat dengan seorang rekan bisnisnya.
Di tengah-tengah rapat, tiba-tiba seorang anak buah Sang Guru masuk ke  
ruang rapat sambil tersengal-sengal dan dengan kalut dia melaporkan  
sesuatu kepada Sang Guru.   
Sang Guru menjawab: "Ingat peraturan nomor 5."
Mendengar ini, anak   buahnya kontan jadi tenang, meminta maaf, dan mohon diri.   
Sebentar kemudian, seorang anak buah lainnya dari Sang Guru  
menginterupsi rapat dan dengan resah mengeluhkan suatu masalah yang  
tampaknya membuatnya berbeban berat.   
Sang Guru menjawab: "Ingat peraturan nomor 5." Mendengar ini, anak  
buahnya kontan jadi tenang, meminta maaf, dan mohon diri.   
Sejenak berlalu, lagi-lagi seorang anak buah yang lain dari Sang Guru  
menerobos ke ruang rapat dan dengan penuh kekesalan menyampaikan uneg- 
unegnya kepada Sang Guru.   
Sang Guru menjawab: "Ingat peraturan nomor 5." Mendengar ini, anak  
buahnya kontan jadi tenang, meminta maaf, dan mohon diri.   
Menyaksikan peristiwa itu, rekan bisnis Sang Guru tidak tahan lagi  
untuk mengungkapkan rasa penasarannya.
Ia bertanya: "Apa sih peraturan   nomor 5 itu?"   
Sang Guru menjawab: "JANGAN SERIUS-SERIUS AMAT LAH."   
"Ooo, itu peraturan yang bagus," ujar rekan bisnisnya seraya   mengangguk-  angguk,
"lalu, apa bunyi peraturan-peraturan lainnya?"   
"Nggak ada sih, itu aja!" sahut Sang Guru sambil tersenyum lebar.     
Cerita di atas mengajarkan kepada kita banyak hal mengenai kelapangan  
hati. Dalam keseharian hidup, kita senantiasa berkecimpung dengan hal- 
hal yang membuat kita cemas dan kesal. Andaikata kita bisa meletakkan  
setiap permasalahan kita dalam perspektif yang benar-benar esensial dan  
bernilai, kita akan bisa berpikir dengan lebih jernih.   
Sebuah studi menunjukkan bahwa "penyebab kecemasan" orang-orang adalah: 
- hal-hal yang tak pernah terjadi: 40% 
- hal-hal yang silam dan tak bisa diubah: 30% 
- perasaan takut sakit: 12% 
- hal-hal sepele atau kurang beralasan: 10% 
- masalah yang nyata/betulan: 8%   
Jadi, survei membuktikan: 92% adalah kecemasan semu nan sia-sia!   
Seiring dengan tumbuhnya kedewasaan spiritual kita, kita akan semakin  
menyadari kenyataan bahwa sehebat apa pun, kita dan segala atribut kita  
bukanlah pusat dari alam semesta. Dengan pemahaman ini, tatkala kita  
menghadapi kecemasan atau kekesalan, kita bisa mengingatkan diri bahwa  
apa yang terjadi pada kita bukanlah hal yang bersifat "personal".   
Alam dan kehidupan berjalan secara tidak memihak. Semakin kita mampu  
menyelaraskan diri dengan jalannya kehidupan, akan semakin damai dan  
bahagialah kita. Kalau kita senantiasa ingat "peraturan nomor 5", kita  
akan lebih mudah untuk terus bangkit dan melenggang dalam segala  
terpaan hidup.   
Be happy!   
Illuminata ini disumbangkan oleh: HANDAKA VIJJANANDA di BANGKOK.   
Untuk mendapatkan Illuminata secara teratur dan gratis, kirimkan email  
kosong ke: ehipassiko_foundation-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.
Anda akan segera mendapatkan email dari yahoo yang menanyakan konfirmasi Anda;  
silakan "reply dan send" dalam tempo tidak lebih dari 7 hari.   
Illuminata disajikan oleh Ehipassiko Foundation, suatu yayasan  
nonprofit nonsektarian yang bermisi mewujudkan Belas Kasih dan  
Kebijaksanaan melalui penerbitan buku, media elektronik, ceramah,
dan   program pelajar asuh. Buku-buku Ehipassiko tersedia di Gramedia atau  
dapat dibeli online di www.karaniya.com. Keuntungan layanan online:  
hemat 10%, bebas ongkos kirim, dan praktis.

Life

* Hidup adalah kesempatan, gunakan itu.

* Hidup adalah keindahan, kagumi itu.

* Hidup adalah mimpi, wujudkan itu.

* Hidup adalah tantangan, hadapi itu.

* Hidup adalah kewajiban, penuhi itu.

* Hidup adalah pertandingan, jalani itu.

* Hidup adalah mahal, jaga itu.

* Hidup adalah kekayaan, simpan itu.

* Hidup adalah kasih, nikmati itu.

* Hidup adalah janji, genapi itu.

* Hidup adalah kesusahan, atasi itu.

* Hidup adalah nyanyian, nyanyikan itu.

* Hidup adalah perjuangan, terima itu.

* Hidup adalah tragedi, hadapi itu.

* Hidup adalah petualangan, lewati itu.

* Hidup adalah keberuntungan, laksanakan itu.

* Hidup adalah terlalu berharga, jangan rusakkan itu.

* Hidup adalah hidup, berjuanglah untuk itu.

"We can do no great things, only small things with great love. "
--Mother Teresa

BISA MATI KAPAN SAJA

Seorang pria mendatangi Sang Guru, "Guru, saya sudah bosan hidup. Sudah
jenuh betul. Rumah tangga saya berantakan. Usaha saya kacau. Apa pun
yang saya lakukan selalu berantakan. Saya ingin mati saja.

"Sang Guru tersenyum, "Oh, kamu sakit." "Tidak Guru, saya tidak sakit.
Saya sehat. Hanya jenuh dengan kehidupan. Itu sebabnya saya ingin
mati."

Seolah-olah tidak mendengar pembelaannya, Sang Guru meneruskan, "Kamu
sakit. Dan penyakitmu itu dinamakan Alergi Hidup."

Banyak sekali di antara kita yang alergi terhadap kehidupan. Kemudian,
tanpa disadari kita melakukan hal-hal yang bertentangan dengan norma
kehidupan. Sungai kehidupan ini mengalir terus, tetapi kita
menginginkan status-quo. Kita berhenti di tempat, kita tidak ikut
mengalir. Itu sebabnya kita jatuh sakit. Kita mengundang penyakit.
Resistensi kita, penolakan kita untuk ikut mengalir bersama kehidupan
membuat kita sakit. Yang namanya usaha, pasti ada pasang-surutnya.
Dalam hal berumah tangga, bentrokan-bentrokan kecil itu lumrah.
Persahabatan pun tidak selalu langgeng. Apa sih yang langgeng, yang
abadi dalam hidup ini? Kita tidak menyadari sifat kehidupan. Kita ingin
mempertahankan suatu keadaan. Kemudian kita gagal, kecewa, dan
menderita.

"Penyakitmu itu bisa disembuhkan, asal kamu ingin sembuh dan bersedia
mengikuti petunjukku," kata Sang Guru. "Tidak Guru, tidak! Saya sudah
betul-betul bosan. Saya tidak ingin hidup," pria itu menolak tawaran
sang guru.

"Jadi kamu tidak ingin sembuh. Kamu betul-betul ingin mati?" "Ya,
memang saya sudah bosan hidup." "Baiklah, kalau begitu maumu. Ambillah
botol obat ini. Setengah botol diminum malam ini, setengah botol lagi
besok petang. Besok malam kau akan mati dengan tenang."

Giliran pria itu jadi bingung. Setiap guru yang ia datangi selama ini
selalu berupaya untuk memberikannya semangat hidup. Yang satu ini aneh.
Ia malah menawarkan racun. Tetapi karena ia memang sudah betul-betul
jemu, ia menerimanya dengan senang hati. Sesampai di rumah, ia langsung
menenggak setengah botol "obat" dari Sang Guru. Dan... ia merasakan
ketenangan yang tidak pernah ia rasakan sebelumnya... Begitu santai!
Tinggal 1 malam, 1 hari, dan ia akan mati. Ia akan terbebaskan dari
segala macam masalah. Malam itu, ia memutuskan untuk makan malam
bersama keluarga di restoran Jepang. Sesuatu yang sudah tidak pernah ia
lakukan selama beberapa tahun terakhir.

Pikir-pikir malam terakhir, ia ingin meninggalkan kenangan manis.
Sambil makan, ia bersenda gurau. Suasananya santai banget! Sebelum
tidur, ia mencium istrinya dan berbisik, "Sayang, aku mencintaimu."
Esoknya bangun tidur, ia membuka jendela kamar dan melihat ke luar.
Tiupan angin pagi menyegarkan tubuhnya dan ia tergerak untuk melakukan
jalan pagi. Pulang ke rumah setengah jam kemudian, ia melihat istrinya
masih tertidur. Tanpa membangunkannya, ia masuk dapur dan membuat 2
cangkir kopi. Satu untuk dirinya, satu lagi untuk istrinya. Karena pagi
itu adalah pagi terakhir, ia ingin meninggalkan kenangan manis! Sang
istri pun merasa aneh sekali. Selama ini, mungkin aku salah, "Maafkan
aku, sayang."

Di kantor, ia menyapa setiap orang. Stafnya pun bingung, "Hari ini boss
kita kok aneh ya?" Dan sikap mereka pun langsung berubah. Mereka
menjadi lembut. Karena siang itu adalah siang terakhir, ia ingin
meninggalkan kenangan manis! Tiba-tiba, segala sesuatu di sekitarnya
berubah. Ia menjadi ramah dan lebih toleran, bahkan apresiatif terhadap
perbedaan pendapat. Tiba-tiba hidup menjadi indah. Ia mulai
menikmatinya. Pulang ke rumah petang itu, ia menemukan istri tercinta
menungguinya di beranda. Kali ini justru sang istri yang memberikan
ciuman kepadanya, "Sayang, sekali lagi aku minta maaf, kalau selama ini
aku selalu merepotkan kamu." Anak-anak pun tidak ingin
ketinggalan, "Pa, maafkan kami semua. Selama ini Papa selalu stress
karena perilaku kami."

Tiba-tiba, sungai kehidupannya mengalir kembali. Seketika hidup menjadi
sangat indah. Ia mengurungkan niatnya untuk bunuh diri. Tetapi
bagaimana dengan setengah botol yang sudah ia minum? Ia mendatangi Sang
Guru lagi. Melihat wajah pria itu, Sang Guru langsung mengetahui apa
yang telah terjadi, "Buang saja botol itu. Isinya air biasa kok. Kau
sudah sembuh! Jika kau hidup dalam kekinian, jika kau hidup dengan
kesadaran bahwa engkau bisa mati kapan saja, kau akan menikmati setiap
detik kehidupan. Hilangkan egomu, keangkuhanmu. Jadilah lembut,
selembut air, dan mengalirlah bersama sungai kehidupan. Kau tidak akan
bosan. Kau akan merasa hidup. Itulah rahasia kehidupan. Itulah jalan
menuju ketenangan. Itulah kunci kebahagiaan."

Pria itu mengucapkan terima kasih, lalu pulang untuk mengulangi
pengalaman sehari terakhirnya. Ia terus mengalir. Kini ia selalu hidup
dengan kesadaran bahwa ia bisa mati kapan saja. Itulah sebabnya, ia
selalu tenang, selalu bahagia!

Tunggu. Kita semua SUDAH TAHU bahwa kita BISA MATI KAPAN SAJA. Tapi
masalahnya: apakah kita SELALU SADAR bahwa kita BISA MATI KAPAN SAJA?
Nah!

Be happy!

Love Is Stronger . . .

Having a goal based on love is the greatest life insurance in the world.

If you had asked my dad why he got up in the morning, you would have found his answer disarmingly simple: "To make my wife happy."

Mom and Dad met when they were nine. Every day before school, they met on a park bench with their homework. Mom corrected Dad's English and he did the same with her math. Upon graduation, their teachers said that the two of them were the best "student" in the school. Note the singular!

They took their time building their relationship, even though Dad always knew she was the girl for him. Their first kiss occurred when they were 17, and their romance continued to grow into their 80s.

Just how much power their relationship created was brought to light in 1964. The doctor told Dad he had cancer and estimated that he had six months to one year left at the most. "Sorry to disagree with you, Doc," my father said. "But I'll tell you how long I have. One day longer than my wife. I love her too much to leave the planet without her."

And so it was, to the amazement of everyone who didn't really know this love-matched pair, that Mom passed away at the age of 85 and Dad followed one year later when he was 86. Near the end, he told my brothers and me that those 17 years were the best six months he ever spent.

To the wonderful doctors and nurses at the Department of Veterans' Affairs Medical Center at Long Beach, he was a walking miracle. They kept a loving watch on him and just couldn't understand how a body so riddled with cancer could continue to function so well.

My dad's explanation was simple. He informed them that he had been a medic in World War I and saw amputated arms and legs, and he had noticed that none of them could think. So he decided he would tell his body how to behave. Once, as he stood up and it was evident he felt a stabbing pain, he looked down at his chest and shouted, "Shut up! We're having a party here."

Two days before he left us he said, "Boys, I'll be with your mother very soon and someday, some place we'll all be together again. But take your time about joining us; your mother and I have a lot of catching up to do."

It is said that love is stronger than prison walls. Dad proved it was a heck of a lot stronger than tiny cancer cells. Bob, George and I are still here, armed with Dad's final gift.

A goal, a love and a dream give you total control over your body and your life.

By John Wayne Schlatter

Samatha or Vipassana ?

A rare blessing

by Danai Chanchaochai, Bangkok Post, Aug 18, 2005

As humans, we have the chance to practice all four foundations of
mindfulness

Bangkok, Thailand -- This week we have yet another important
question for Phra Acharn Manop Upasamo, with an answer that reminds us
why Vipassana meditation is so important in the practice of Buddhism.

Question: You said there are two main types of meditation: deep
concentration (Samatha) and mindfulness (Vipassana). Why did Lord
Buddha say that Vipassana is "the only way" to escape the endless
cycle of suffering?

Answer: Because deep concentration meditation will not lead you to
any wisdom or insight. More worrisome though, is the fact that people
who achieve an advanced level of deep concentration meditation lessen
their chances of developing real insight that leads to enlightenment.

First, advanced deep concentration meditation means your mind will
reach the state of jhana or a simple, non-questing, tranquil state of
mind. When Samatha practitioners reach this stage in their meditation,
they feel completely detached and unaffected by sensations and
feelings of the ordinary world, and they remain in that state for a
long time. When your mind is in this dormant mode, naturally you are
not likely to learn anything.

On the other hand, Vipassana, mindfulness meditation, is just that.
Your mind is totally awake and you are being continuously mindful of
what happens to your body and your mind. In other words, you are
learning something about your body and your mind with every
observation you make, in every little moment of your life.

Now, what's next? If you were to continue to practise Samatha
meditation throughout your life and reached the advanced level of the
simple, non-questing, quiet state of mind, you would be reborn as an
Arupa Brahmin or Asanyata Brahmin, both a type of higher being. These
two types of Brahmin have two distinct characters: they represent the
tranquil state of mind with no physical body and have a very, very
long life.

The state of being: having no substantial body form like that of humans
beings means that they would be unable to practice Vipassana. This is
because to practice mindfulness, we need to be able to practice all four
foundations: body, feelings, mind and mind objects. So the life of a Brahmin
is nothing more than mere existence. Just as when they practiced Samatha,
they can learn nothing. 

Lord Buddha foresaw that his doctrine would survive no more than 5,000 years.
But a Brahmin's life is much longer than that.
This also translates into their missing out on the opportunity to learn how
to practise Vipassana meditation and permanently escape from the cycle of birth,
and in so doing, from rebirth and all suffering. 

A good example is that of Lord Buddha's former teachers, Arara Dabos and
Utaka Dabos. After Prince Sidhartha was ordained and went in search of
how to end all suffering, he went to study in many schools, the last being
that of these two teachers who were prescribing deep concentration meditation
as "the way."  Because of his strong determination, Prince Sidhartha was able
to reach the highest level of jhana but felt something was still missing.
He found that he could not completely rid himself of the kilesas,
or mental defilements, by simply practicing deep concentration meditation.
He could only suppress them by this form of meditation. But once out of that
trance state of mind, all the suffering of life remained the same.
Therefore, he set out on his own and, by trial and error, concluded that
mindfulness meditation was the answer and eventually, by this method,
achieved enlightenment. 

Once enlightened, Lord Buddha thought of his two
teachers. He wanted to go back and teach them - to help them escape all
suffering. However, he discovered that they had already died and were reborn
as Brahmin. It was then that Lord Buddha expressed his sorrow for both of them,
for they could not be reached or taught. By the time their life cycles as Brahmin
ended and they were ready to be reborn again, Lord Buddha's religion would
already cease to exist.    

Therefore, all of us should be happy that we were
born as human beings in this life, and having discovered the truth of Buddhism,
been given the opportunity to learn and practice Vipassana. Lord Buddha said
these are the world's rarest blessings. Why? Because as a human being, we have
the chance to practice all four foundations of mindfulness. In this respect we
are better off than those who are born in the same state as Lord Buddha's two
teachers.     

So use your four foundations of mindfulness well. The path to
dhamma made possible by Vipassana arises out of the accurate observation of
how we see, smell, hear, taste, touch and feel. From right observation comes
right understanding of cause and effect. Our ears hear a voice and the mind
determines what it is, generating an emotional response that results in a
physical reaction. If we can step back with a "detached" attitude and observe
what's going on in a non-judgmental fashion, then we are practicing Vipassana.
That is a knowing state of mind, and our first step to eventual enlightenment. 
So please, maintain your meditation. You have the rest of your life to practice.
--------------------
The teachings of Phra Acharn Manop Upasamo are transcribed and
translated for Dhamma Moments by Nashara Siamwalla

Digging in the Dung by Ajahn Brahm

When I was a schoolteacher, my attention was drawn to the student in my class of thirty who came bottom in the end-of-year exams. I could see that he was depressed as a result of his performance, so I took him aside.

I said to him: 'Someone has to come thirtieth in a class of thirty. This year, it happens to be you who has made the heroic sacrifice, so that none of your friends have to suffer the ignominy of being bottom of the class. You are so kind, so compassionate. You deserve a medal.'

We both knew that what I was saying was ridiculous, but he grinned. He didn't take it as such an end-of-the-world event any more.

He did much better the next year, when it was someone else's turn to make the heroic sacrifice.

Unpleasant things, like coming bottom of our class, happen in life. They happen to everyone. The only difference between a happy person and one who gets depressed is how they respond to disasters.

Imagine you have just had a wonderful afternoon at the beach with a friend. When you return home, you find a huge truckload of dung has been dumped right in front of your door. There are three things to know about this truckload of dung:

1. You did not order it. It's not your fault.
2. You're stuck with it. No one saw who dumped it, so you cannot call anyone to take it away.
3. It is filthy and offensive, and its stench fills your whole house. It is almost impossible to endure.

In this metaphor, the truckload of dung in front of the house stands for the traumatic experiences that are dumped on us in life. As with the truckload of dung, there are three things to know about tragedy in our life:

1. We did not order it. We say 'Why me?'
2. We're stuck with it. No one, not even our best friends, can take it away (though they may try).
3. It is so awful, such a destroyer of our happiness, and its pain fills our whole life. It is almost impossible to endure.

There are two ways of responding to being stuck with a truckload of dung. The first way is to carry the dung around with us. We put some in our pockets, some in our bags, and some up our shirts. We even put some down our pants. We find when we carry dung around, we lose a lot of friends! Even best friends don't seem to be around so often.

'Carrying around the dung' is a metaphor for sinking into depression, negativity, or anger. It is a natural and understandable response to adversity. But we lose a lot of friends, because it is also natural and understandable that our friends don't like being around us when we're so depressed. Moreover, the pile of dung gets no less, but the smell gets worse as it ripens.

Fortunately, there's a second way. When we are dumped with a truckload of dung, we heave a sigh, and then get down to work. Out come the wheelbarrow, the fork, and the spade. We fork the dung into the barrow, wheel it around the back of the house, and dig it into the garden. This is tiring and difficult work, but we know there's no other option. Sometimes, all we can manage is half a barrow a day. We're doing something about the problem, rather than complaining our way into depression. Day after day we dig in the dung. Day after day, the pile gets smaller. Sometimes it takes several years, but the morning does come when we see that the dung in front of our house is all gone. Furthermore, a miracle has happened in another part of our house. The flowers in our garden are bursting out in a richness of colour all over the place. Their fragrance wafts down the street so that the neighbours, and even passers-by, smile in delight. Then the fruit tree in the corner is nearly falling over, it's so heavy with fruit. And the fruit is so sweet; you can't buy anything like it. There's so much of it that we are able to share it with our neighbours. Even passers-by get a delicious taste of the miracle fruit.

'Digging in the dung' is a metaphor for welcoming the tragedies as fertilizer for life. It is work that we have to do alone: no one can help us here. But by digging it into the garden of our heart, day by day, the pile of pain gets less. It may take us several years, but the morning does come when we see no more pain in our life and, in our heart, a miracle has happened. Flowers of kindness are bursting out all over the place, and the fragrance of love wafts way down our street, to our neighbours, to our relations, and even to passers-by. Then our wisdom tree in the corner is bending down to us, loaded with sweet insights into the nature of life. We share those delicious fruits freely, even with the passers-by, without ever planning to.

When we have known tragic pain, learnt its lesson, and grown our garden, then we can put our arms around another in deep tragedy and say, softly, 'I know.' They realize we do understand. Compassion begins. We show them the wheelbarrow, the fork, and the spade, and boundless encouragement. If we haven't grown our own garden yet, this can't be done.

I have known many monks who are skilled in meditation, who are peaceful, composed and serene in adversity. But only a few have become great teachers. I often wondered why.

It seems to me now that those monks who had a relatively easy time of it, who had little dung to dig in, were the ones who didn't become teachers. It was the monks who had the enormous difficulties, dug them in quietly, and came through with a rich garden that became great teachers. They all had wisdom, serenity and compassion; but those with more dung had more to share with the world. My teacher, Ajahn Chah, who for me was the pinnacle of all teachers, must have had a whole trucking company line up with their dung at his door, in his early life.

Perhaps the moral of this story is that if you want to be of service to the world, if you wish to follow the path of compassion, then the next time a tragedy occurs in your life, you may say, 'Whoopee! More fertilizer for my garden!'

This article was excerpted from Opening The Door Of Your Heart, ?2004, by Ajahn Brahm. (Forthcoming North American edition, "Who Ordered this Truckload of Dung?: Inspiring Wisdom for Welcoming Life's Difficulties" published by Wisdom Publications, www.wisdompubs.org )

KAN SEKARANG SUDAH BISA

Di sebuah kampung nelayan, pada suatu pagi, seorang profesor bisnis
yang sedang berlibur bertemu dengan seorang nelayan yang tengah
membereskan hasil tangkapannya. Sang profesor tidak tahan untuk tidak
menyapanya, "Hai, kenapa kamu selesai bekerja sepagi ini?" "Saya sudah
menangkap cukup banyak ikan Pak," jawab nelayan itu, "cukup untuk
dimakan sekeluarga dan masih ada sisa untuk dijual."

"Lalu, setelah ini kamu mau apa?" tanya profesor itu lagi. Jawab sang
nelayan, "Habis ini saya mau makan siang dengan istri dan anak-anak
saya, setelah itu tidur siang sebentar, lalu saya akan bermain dengan
anak-anak. Setelah makan malam, saya akan ke warung, bersenda gurau
sambil bermain gitar bersama teman-teman."

"Dengarkan kawan," ujar sang profesor, "jika kamu tetap melaut sampai
sore, kamu bisa mendapat dua kali lipat hasil tangkapan. Kamu bisa
menjual ikan lebih banyak, menyimpan uangnya, dan setelah sembilan
bulan kamu akan mampu membeli perahu baru yang lebih besar. Lalu, kamu
akan bisa menangkap ikan empat kali lebih banyak. Coba pikir, berapa
banyak uang yang bakal kamu dapat!"

Lanjut profesor, "Dalam satu dua tahun kamu akan bisa membeli satu
kapal lagi, dan kamu bisa menggaji banyak orang. Jika kamu mengikuti
konsep bisnis ini, dalam lima tahun kamu akan menjadi juragan armada
nelayan yang besar. Coba bayangkan!"

"Kalau sudah sebesar itu, sebaiknya kamu memindah kantormu ke ibu kota.
Beberapa tahun kemudian perusahaanmu bisa 'go public', kamu bisa jadi
investor mayoritas. Dijamin, kamu akan jadi jutawan besar! Percayalah!
Aku ini guru besar di sekolah bisnis terkenal, aku ini ahlinya hal-hal
beginian!"

Dengan takjub, nelayan itu mendengarkan penuturan profesor yang penuh
semangat itu. Ketika profesor selesai menjelaskan, sang nelayan
bertanya, "Tapi Pak Profesor, apa yang bisa saya perbuat dengan uang
sebanyak itu?"

Ups! Anehnya sang profesor belum memikirkan konsep bisnisnya sejauh
itu. Cepat-cepat dia mereka-reka apa yang seseorang bisa lakukan dengan
uang sebanyak itu.

"Kawan! Kalau kamu jadi jutawan, kamu bisa pensiun. Ya! Pensiun dini
seumur hidup! Kamu bisa membeli villa mungil di desa pantai yang indah
seperti ini, dan membeli sebuah perahu untuk berwisata laut pada pagi
hari. Kamu bisa makan bersama keluargamu setiap hari, bersantai-santai
tanpa khawatir apa pun. Kamu punya banyak waktu bersama anak-anakmu,
dan setelah makan malam kamu bisa main gitar dengan teman-temanmu di
warung. Yeaaa, dengan uang sebanyak itu, kamu bisa pensiun dan hidupmu
jadi mudah!

"Tapi, Pak Profesor, kan sekarang ini saya sudah bisa begitu…," lirih
sang nelayan dengan lugunya.

Kenapa kita percaya bahwa kita harus bekerja begitu keras dan menjadi
kaya raya terlebih dahulu, baru kita bisa merasa berkecukupan? Apakah
ada "tujuan yang lebih mulia" dari apa yang Anda lakoni saat ini?
Apakah itu benar tujuan mulia atau sekadar dalih rasa takut untuk
menjadi apa adanya? Untuk merasa berkecukupan, apa sekarang ini tidak
bisa?

Be Good Be Happy!

Maafkan Bila Aku Mengeluh

Hari ini, di sebuah bus, aku melihat seorang gadis cantik dengan rambut pirang. Aku iri melihatnya. Dia tampak begitu ceria, dan kuharap aku pun sama. Tiba-tiba dia terhuyung-huyung berjalan. Dia mempunyai satu kaki saja, dan memakai tongkat kayu. Namun ketika dia lewat - tersenyum.

Oh Tuhan, maafkan aku bila aku mengeluh. Aku punya dua kaki. Dunia ini milikku.

Aku berhenti untuk membeli bunga lili. Anak laki-laki penjualnya begitu mempesona. Aku berbicara padanya. Dia tampak begitu gembira. Seandainya aku terlambat, tidaklah apa-apa.Ketika aku pergi, dia berkata, "Terima kasih.Engkau sudah begitu baik. Menyenangkan berbicara dengan orang sepertimu. Lihat saya buta.

"Oh Tuhan, maafkan aku bila aku mengeluh. Aku punya dua mata. Dunia ini milikku.

Lalu, sementara berjalan. Aku melihat seorang anakdengan bola mata biru. Dia berdiri dan melihat teman-temannya bermain. Dia tidak tahu apa yang bisa dilakukannya. Aku berhenti sejenak, lalu berkata, "Mengapaengkau tidak bermain dengan yang lain, nak ?"Dia memandang ke depan tanpa bersuara, lalu akutahu dia tidak bisa mendengar.

Oh Tuhan, maafkan aku bila aku mengeluh. Aku punya dua telinga. Dunia ini milikku. Dengan dua kaki untuk membawa aku ke mana aku mau. Dengan dua mata untuk memandang mentari terbenam. Dengan dua telinga untuk mendengar apa yang inginkudengar.

Oh Tuhan, maafkan aku bila aku mengeluh.

-Anonymous-

Children

Anak-anakmu adalah bukan anak-anakmu.
Mereka adalah putra-putri kehidupan,
Yang merindukan dirinya sendiri.
Mereka datang melaluimu, namun tidak darimu.
Meskipun mereka bersamamu,
Mereka bukanlah milikmu.
Engkau boleh memberikan cintamu pada mereka,
Tapi tidak pemikiranmu.
Karena mereka memiliki pemikiran mereka sendiri.
Engkau boleh berusaha menyamai mereka,
Namun janganlah berusaha membuat mereka
Sama denganmu.

-Khalil Gibran-

Complain

"Aku mengeluh tidak punya sepatu sampai aku bertemu seseorang yang tidak punya kaki."