The Big Question: Why are we here ?

The man behind the mission

by NISSARA HORAYANGURA, Bangkok Post, Oct 29, 2006

Bangkok, Thailand -- Who's reading Ajahn Brahm's book? A very mixed
crowd - Germans, Chinese, Thais, any number of people literate in the
eight languages into which his book has been translated. Executives,
students, psychologists, even Christian chaplains.

"Last month, a
Catholic priest in Adelaide phoned me especially to thank me for the
book because he uses it in his chaplaincy work," Ajahn Brahm says,
sounding both delighted and a bit amazed. "When you get praise from
Christians, you think, wow, this book is actually making those bridges
between different religions."

With his knack for presenting Buddhist teachings without being too
"Buddhisty" - conveying their wisdom in universally relevant ways - he
makes a skilful bridge-builder (if an imperfect bricklayer).

Whether travelling around the world giving talks or based at his
monastery in Australia, where only two per cent of the population is
Buddhist, Ajahn Brahm is actively involved in interfaith dialogue,
although he would rather not use the term "dialogue".

"It's friendship, actually," he says.

He tells of a particularly close friendship he has with the Catholic
abbot of a Benedictine monastery just north of Perth. Both being
entertaining speakers, they regularly do public talks together as "The
Two Abbots", a sort of two-man spiritual-comedy act.

The concept is catchy, but also inspiring. "People see a Buddhist abbot
and a Catholic abbot sitting together, talking about similar things, and
being obviously friends. And they love it."

The two abbots' close friendship also makes it possible to have that
"interfaith dialogue" more effectively. Ajahn Brahm observes that at
many interfaith gatherings, one has to "tread on eggshells" out of fear
of causing offence.

"But our friendship has gone way beyond that now. We know each other
well enough that we're not afraid to disagree. He can say whatever he
likes. He's my friend and I refuse to be offended.

"He can say, 'I don't believe in reincarnation!' And I can say, 'I don't
believe in God!' And we both win, because we know exactly what we mean,"
he says with a laugh.

Debates about God's existence aside, another sticking point some
Buddhists - particularly orthodox Theravadans - may have in truly
respecting other religions is their belief that the only way to achieve
ultimate liberation is through the practice of insight meditation, which
is not found in other religions.

When this point is raised, Ajahm Brahm immediately responds, "That's
called conceit."

He then goes on to quote an inarguable authority - the Lord Buddha.
"Once the Buddha was asked that question - 'Can you become enlightened
in other traditions?' And he gave this beautiful answer: 'Wherever
there's an eightfold path, wherever you practise a bit of meditation,
some virtue, some wisdom, there you'll find people becoming
enlightened."'

Still, that watch-word "meditation" was mentioned, was it not? Yes, but
Ajahn Brahm is keen to demystify "meditation". Many times in his talks,
he emphasizes that there is nothing magical or esoteric about it.
Meditation is simply stilling the mind. "It's a fundamental freedom of
all human beings." He likens it to getting out of a speeding car and
walking. When you're riding in the car, you can only see the world
whizzing by through the window, the details blurred. Once you slow down,
once you still the mind, you can see more clearly.

Buddhism has no monopoly on meditation. He points out that meditation is
so popular nowadays that there are meditation groups in Christian and
other faiths, so non-Buddhists can practise it within a tradition
they're comfortable with.

Nor does Buddhism, or any religion, have a monopoly on truth.

"Now, you can actually bottle water and sell it. But you can't bottle
truth and sell it. Religions try to do that. [They say] 'We're the only
ones who've got the truth. So we've got the franchise, and no one else
can sell it."'

Just as water is the same, no matter what bottle it's in (and no matter
what those clever marketers say), so truth is the same, no matter what
religious container it's in - love, peace, harmony, forgiveness,
freedom.

Making that distinction between the containers and the contents is the
key to avoiding inter-religious strife, he says. So much conflict is
instigated when others attack one's own containers - the symbols, texts,
icons of one's religion. But one need not get upset if one can remember
that they are just symbols, and focus on maintaining the contents, the
teachings.

"When the Taliban destroyed the Bamyan Buddha statues, Buddhists did not
allow themselves to seek revenge, because that would, in fact, mean the
Taliban had succeeded not only in destroying the containers, but also
the contents."

Similarly, he says, "A Muslim might say, 'I don't like those cartoons
[referring to the controversy over offensive caricatures drawn of the
Prophet Muhammad], but it's more important that we're friends.
Forgiven.' Wouldn't it be wonderful if that happened?"

Following an incident where US soldiers allegedly flushed a copy of the
Koran down a toilet, Ajahn Brahm was asked what he would do if someone
flushed a Buddhist holy book down a toilet.

"Call a plumber."

Enlightment

"Once the Buddha was asked that question - 'Can you become enlightened
in other traditions?' And he gave this beautiful answer: 'Wherever
there's an eightfold path, wherever you practise a bit of meditation,
some virtue, some wisdom, there you'll find people becoming
enlightened."'

Grant yourself a moment of peace,
and you will understand
how foolishly you have scurried about.

Learn to be silent,
and you will notice that
you have talked too much.

Be kind,
and you will realise that
your judgement of others was too severe.

= Ancient Chinese Proverb =

Marriage

Since I became a celibate monk, I have married many women.
Part of my job as a Buddhist monk is to perform the religious part of Buddhist marriage ceremonies. According to my tradition of Buddhism, a lay Buddhist is the official marriage celebrant, but many of the couples regard me as the one who married them. So I have married many women and many men as well.
It is said that there are three rings to a marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffer-ring !
So trouble is to be expected. When there is trouble, the people I have married often come to talk to me. Being a monk who likes an easy life, I include in my marriage service the next three stories, intended to keep the three of us out of trouble for as long as possible.

=Opening The Door of Your Heart=
by Ajahn Brahm

ps: one of the stories is the "Commitment" story i post before this.

Commitment

My view of relationships and marriage is this: when the couple are going out, they are merely involved; when they become engaged, they are still involved, maybe more deeply; when they publicly exchange marriage vows, that is commitment.

The meaning of marriage ceremony is the commitment. During a ceremony, to drive home the meaning in a way peoply usually remember for the rest of their lives, I explain that the difference between involvement and commitment is the same as the difference between bacon and eggs.

At this point, the in-laws and friends start to pay attention. They begin to wonder, 'What has bacon and eggs got to do with marriage ?' I continue.

'With bacon and eggs, the chicken is only involved, but the pig is committed. Let this be a pig marriage.'

=Opening The Door of Your Heart=
by Ajahn Brahm

Everyday is Special Day

Tiap Hari Adalah Istimewa
By Ann Wells (Los Angeles Times)

Kakak iparku membuka laci lemari pakaian kakakku yang paling bawah, lalu mengambil sesuatu terbungkus tissue putih dan mengulurkannya kepadaku sambil berkata: "Ini pakaian dalam yang sangat spesial."

Kubuka bungkusan itu, dan kutemukan sebuah pakaian dalam yang sangat menawan, lembut, terbuat dari sutera, disulam tangan, dengan tali sangat lembut. Tag harga masih tertempel, dengan kode-kode penjualannya yang rumit.

"Jane membelinya 8 atau 9 tahun yang lalu, dan belum pernah memakainya.Katanya ia ingin memakainya untuk suatu kesempatan yang sangat istimewa.Yah, rasanya inilah hari yang istimewa itu," kata kakak iparku lemah.

Ia mengambil pakaian dalam itu dari tanganku, dan meletakkannya di tas tempat tidur, bersama dengan pakaian lainnya yang kami persiapkan untuk dibawa ke rumah duka.
Ia memegang pakaian dalam itu sejenak, dan dengan tiba-tiba ia menutup laci tersebut keras-keras sambil berkata keras padaku: "Jangan pernah menyimpan sesuatu yang istimewa untuk kesempatan istimewa. Hidupmu tiap hari adalah istimewa."

Aku terus ingat kata-kata tersebut sepanjang upacara pemakaman dan
hari-hari sesudahnya. Saya membantu dia dan keponakan-keponakan saya untuk melewati hari-hari berkabung setelah kematian kakakku yang mendadak. Aku juga terus memikirkan mereka sepanjang penerbanganku kembali ke California dari kota Midwestern di mana kakakku tinggal. Aku juga memikirkan hal-hal yang belum sempat didengar, dilihat atau dikerjakan oleh almarhum kakakku.

Aku juga memikirkan hal-hal yang sudah ia kerjakan tanpa menyadari Bahwa hal-hal tersebut sungguh sangat spesial. Aku terus memikirkan kata-kata kakak iparku, dan sepertinya kata-kata yang ia ucapkan saat hatinya penuh duka tersebut telah mengubah hidupku. Mendadak sepertinya aku telah membaca sedemikian banyak buku tetang kehidupan.
Aku lalu memandang ke luar jendela dan menikmati pemandangan udara yang indah, tanpa pusing lagi memikirkan bagaimana kebun kesayanganku yang telah kutinggal pergi beberapa hari.

Sesampai di rumahku sendiri,aku lalu menyempatkan diri untuk lebih Banyak berkumpul dengan keluargaku dan teman-temanku, dan langsung mengurangi kegiatan rapat-rapatku. Apabila diperlukan, hidup ini semestinya dipenuhi pola-pola untuk pengalaman tentang kenikmatan, dan bukan pertahanan serta beban. Sekarang saya mencoba untuk memperhitungkan waktu dengan lebih teliti dan mensyukurinya.

Aku tidak "menyimpan" sesuatu. Kami bahkan menggunakan chinawares
(piring-piring buatan cina) dan koleksi kristal kami setiap hari, tanpa
menunggu ada pesta, ada tamu atau lainnya. Ketika kami kehilangan uang, ketika kran air bocor, ketika bunga camelia kami mekar, adalah saat-saat yang kami istimewakan.

Saya pergi ke pasar memakai pakaian yang indah, jika memang sedang ingin. Semua kami lakukan tanpa rasa sayang yang berlebihan terhadap barang-barang tersebut. Teorinya, kalau saya kelihatan lebih berada daripada orang-orang di sekitarku, saya juga akan menjadi tidak pelit terhadap diriku sendiri.

Saya tidak hanya memakai parfum kalau pergi ke pesta.

Pelayan di toko bangunan, tukang sayur di pasar, teller di bank, dan
teman-temanku di pesta, memiliki hidung yang berfungsi sama. Kata-kata "suatu hari kelak" ataupun "hari-hari ini", mempunyai makna yang sama bagi saya. Jika ada hal-hal yang layak didengar, ditonton, dibaca atau dikerjakan, saya akan berusaha mendengar, menonton, membaca atau mengerjakannya sekarang juga.

Saya tidak tahu apa kira-kira yang akan almarhum kakakku apabila ia tahu bahwa keesokan harinya ("besok" adalah kata-kata yang tidak pernah kita bayangkan akan tidak terjadi) ia sudah tidak akan ada lagi di dunia ini. Mungkin ia akan menelpon seluruh keluarganya dan beberapa teman dekatnya, mungkin ia akan menelpon teman-teman lamanya dan meminta maaf akan kesalahan-kesalahan yang ia lakukan di masa lalu. Saya bahkan juga membayangkan bahwa ia justru akan pergi ke sebuah restoran cina yang sangat ia sukai.

Tapi semua itu hanya perkiraanku saja. Kita tidak pernah tahu.

Hal-hal tersebut pasti akan membuat aku marah bila belum dapat saya lakukan padahal saya tidak memiliki waktu lagi. Marah karena selama ini saya selalu menunda pertemuan-pertemuan dengan teman-teman baik saya, meskipun Saya sangat ingin berjumpa dengan mereka.

Marah, karena selama ini saya jarang membalas surat-surat yang saya terima. Marah dan menyesal karena selama ini saya jarang sekali mengatakan pada isteri dan anak-anakku, betapa Saya menyayangi mereka. Kini saya selalu mengusahakan untuk tidak menunda atau menahan hal-hal yang sekiranya akan menambah keceriaan, kesulitan atau kesedihan dalam hidup ini. membuat saya tertawa.

Dan setiap pagi, begitu saya membuka mata, saya katakan pada diri saya sendiri, bahwa hari itu adalah hari yang spesial. Setiap hari, setiap menit, setiap nafas, adalah benar-benar anugerah yang indah dari Tuhan.

Jika anda menerima mail ini, pasti karena ada orang yang peduli dan Sayang kepada anda. Jika anda selama ini terlalu sibuk, cobalah berhenti sejenak.

Sempatkan beberapa menit saja memikirkan orang-orang yang dekat di hati anda, teman-teman yang telah memberikan warna pada hidup anda, guru, pembimbing, siapapun. Kalau perlu, forward email ini kepada mereka, just to show that you care.

"Good friends must always hold hands, but true friends do not need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there."

Paradox of Our Age

We have bigger houses but smaller families;
more conveniences, but less time;
We have more degrees, but less sense;
more knowledge, but less judgement;
more experts, but more problems;
more medicines, but less healthiness;
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbour.
We built more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication;
We have become long on quantity, but short on quality.
These are times of fast foods but slow digestion;
Tall man but short character;
Steep profits but shallow relationships.
It's a time when there is much in the window,
but nothing in the room.

- His Holiness Dalai Lama